Where I am and where I am going with this...

I recently had someone ask a question; more rather make a comment about where I stand. I'm willing to bet some readers might be asking the same question. I do appreciate you taking the time to read through my blog so it is only fair that I address it "what business does an athiest have getting into this stuff?" . And even worse, express his opinions on these matters? Read this page in chunks- it is long.

I was not always an athiest. I was born and raised into a Roman Catholic family. I was bapstized as a child and had a Godmother who took a vow to see that I would continue practicing my faith until I became a confirmed Catholic. The irony to that is that according to my mother, the last time I saw her was when I was around 4 years old.

Until I went through the ritual of Confirmation, my father made it mandatory that my brothers and I attend mass every Sunday on top of going to Catechism. I remember this getting in the way of doing other activities I wanted to persue or making time to hang with freinds at that hour.

Looking in retrospect, I understand the sacrafice of giving up time with freinds for a couple of hours during the week (I was pretty selfish, but hey- it's how I was raised ;>) He was just trying to do the best he could to step his foot down have us live by his standards in his house.

The irony in this also is that a few years ago my mother told me that my father use to dose off in church. I'm remember being bored as unholy heck along with my brothers and trying to pass the time by making faces at each other. And when I went to other freind's churchs- oh man! I found the boredom to be universal and the things we did to escape it LOL! I remember a freind taking the donation envelopes and stuffing down his pants to look well endowed while he sat.

Somewhere in my teenage years I remember starting to raise questions; in particular to a statement I heard many times in Catechism: "Only those who believe in him (Jesus Christ) shall be saved". At this time in my life I had freinds who came from different religious backgrounds and thought "how can someone so nice not be able to make it to Heaven?" Junior high were the cruelest years of my life...ever. On top of the rampant bullying that I would endure, some of the kids whom I attended Catechism with showed behaviors of discrimination to others according to their religion. I remember feeling ashamed because those others were the minority (The public schools in Azusa are predominantly hispanic so Catholicism and Christianity over ruled by far).

At this time (the 90's) homosexuality was aggressively frowned upon amongst the student body throughout my high school and definetely at church. However, I did not think much of it until later I would befreind someone who had to hide it from everyone. Again I rhetorically asked "How can such a kind soul not be eligible to go to Heaven?"

As more questions stirred, I began to have inner conflict of the religion that I practiced. Attending Catechism became torture. Then once I was finally confirmed by Cardinal Roger Mahone, my father told me it was now my choice to attend mass. I'm sure you can guess as to what I did.

I felt guilty in the beginning for not attending Mass, but I could not fathom going back there where people pretended everything was fine (at least it was my perception of it at the time). I would rather deal with the way things really were as oppose to living a lie. Yeah, I was very angry for a long time. My faith in the existence in God was put on hold-not quite athiest yet.

Freshman year of college I took a class called "Psychology of Religion". It was the first time I was exposed to other religion's around the world other than Christianity. I saw common denominators in many religions such as rituals, & prayers to pay homage & respect to their creators and belief in evil entities within that realm (not all religions believed in evil, however). With these commonalities and yet people get caught up in how we are different. The one with the most controversy by far- Christianity; it has more variations than any other religion! According to the Zeitgeist doucmentary, there are about 10,000 types of Christianity (really? All those many ways to deliver THE GOOD NEWS?)


Many years later- sometime in my early 20's, I don't remember why but I was doing a prayer. A freind overheard and asked me "Do you really think God is choosing sides here? What if the other party is praying as well? What, God is going to flip a coin and randomly pick?" It seems odd to ponder on, but I never thought of looking at it that way.


As I studied science more and it answered questions to the phenomenons in the world, I began to think that everything in life had a reasonable explanation. I felt kindred to the early monks who were the first scientists known in the world. Monks of the clergy were the first educated people because they had the resources. Probably the most well known scientist Charles Darwin, grew up in a Unitiarian family. As he became educated in the world around him, he found answers in other places than divinity.


So why am I exploring this again?
I said that I am an athiest, that is 90% true. The other part of me is 10% agnostic. I always held onto the possibility of something else that could not be explained (God, Laws of the Universe, etc.) . After my experience this last Halloween (read my first post), I was so intrigued that I felt like maybe there is something there (in the realm of- not sure what to call this yet). Maybe there is something there I over looked. I can say this much: I am approaching this at my own free will and not as the child who was forced to go hear, but didn't listen to the sermons half the time.

What am I hoping to find in my research journey?
People who have paranormal abilities (ESP, psychokinesis, etc.), supernatural events of every kind (hauntings, Stigmatas, Exorcisms, etc.) from all parts of the world. My goal is to tape them if I get the chance. We live in a world where reality shows are trying to uncover everything we always wanted to know. It may be awhile before I come across these things (thats if they do exist) so in the mean time,articles and periodicals will have to do until they point me in a path. Then I wish to share with you- "the viewer", the things I come across.


If I get the opportunity to travel around to witness these phenomenons, I'm taking a camera!

On another note as well, there is something to be said about faith, regardless of religion. I have been witness to people doing amazing things for humanity. Many of them are driven by their faith, (not necessarily their religion) their connection with God, the universe, something they beleive in higher than themselves. I beleive it is something like this is to be admired and will do my best to acknowledge it when recognized. You know, to balance out all the madness to come in these postings :>)

You are welcome to leave comments (keep it PG-13, please)
Questions? My contact is at the very bottom of this page

My journey begins

Hello world,

After my encounter with the psychic, I have been intrigued by her performance. I have not ruled out the possibility the she could have tuned into something in our conversation that made her guess what it is "she thinks I should be doing" and made an educational assumption.

Something I should explain for those of you who do not know, I went to UCLA's extention program to study screenwriting. Although I have not made the time for it as I use to, I still dive into it from time to time. Sadly, I have not been as consistent with it since I left. I have occupied my time with other things instead until recently. I began writing a short film idea out with my roomate. I'll keep you all informed if it develops into anything else.

Saturday November 6th, 2010- I took a drive out to The School of Theology in Claremont to research whatever I could find on clairvoyants (many psychics prefer this title). I spent most of my time trying to understand how to use the database. Since I went on a weekend, the only staff there were students of the university (they were no where as informed on the database as I hoped for them to be), but alas I started to pick up the jist of it. From just the quick glancing I did there were articles on every religion I could think of and beyond (paranormal, witchcraft, etc.)

I downloaded a couple of periodicals into a pdf format (can hold much content w/o taking up a lot of memory) to veiw at home at my own pace. One periodical (20 pages, still reading it as of this blog writing) talks about how people are willing to accept the possiblities of paranormal activity and to what degree based on the religion they grew up in. One of the main key factors was how conventional (meaning convenient) that phenomenon was adaptable to their own religion. For example: tradition Judeo Christian practitioners are more willing to accept the concept of demons and angels and the Devil, but less likely to believe in UFO's, astrology, etc . This data was gathered from the Baylor Survey from the Baylor University.

I scanned through this website and found it to be profound, especially when when it comes to showing religion's impact on certain propsitions that have recently been on the past few ballots.

A freind made a suggestion that rather than drive out to Claremont, why not use the Library at Azusa Pacific University? After all, it is a Christian University and I literally live within walking distance from it. So I googled the university and sure enough they too have a theological library.

On my free time from work and other callings from life, I will make the time to check out this place. They do allow non students to come in and use their resources.

Holloween 2010

If you are reading this, hopefully you are one of the few people I sent this to. The reason you were chosen was because I want to hear the opinions & suggestions of those whom I believe can be objective in this matter and not jump to conclusions as oppose to those whom may let superstition compromise them emotionally. And of course, you know me I welcome thought of playing devil's advocate at times :>)

Sunday October 31st 2010- Halloween.

A friend and I were surfacing up to Sunset Boulevard. We were hanging out since 6pm down on Santa Monica at the 31st annual Halloween parade in West Hollywood. The hour at this point was sometime after midnight. I came across a small shop on one of the busiest areas of Hollywood while searching for where I parked my car. I had gone to far, headed back and stopped outside the shop again. It is a psychic's shop. I pulled out a $10 dollar bill and thought "Why not, this should be fun" and went inside with my freind.

An older woman (who smoked way too much) greeted me saying that she had seen pass by and wondered when I would come in to get a reading. I looked around saw she had statues,figures and relics from around the world (I recall seeing a cross, a small pharoh's head figure, and rocks which later she explained were crystals).

I sat to face her. She asked me to uncross my legs and told my friend to go down the street and buy her a specific brand of cigarrettes. I gave my friend my bag that contained my phone and everything else so that I would not be disturbed.

After my freind left, she told me that he was a nice kid, but his energy was interfering from her being able to read mine. "Whatever" I thought. I know its easier to make a sale when it is one on one.

She asked me "what can I do for you". "I've never had a reading before" I replied, "I just came in out of curiosity". "Anything troubling you?" she asked. "Nope" I answered. Nothing I can recall anyway.

Sho she gave me a deck of cards (tarot cards I believe) and instructed me to shuffle it and break it into 3 decks. So I did. Then she asked me to pick a deck for her to choose from. I picked the one on my right. She pulled out 3 from the top before she stopped. "You are being withheld money that is owed to you" she stated before she went on to pull three more. "You have trouble finding love in your life" then she continued "You are distracted by so many things".

I began to think "Everybody goes through financial hardship unless you are born with rich parents! As for love; unless you're married of course you are always searching. I'm glad I only spent $10 bucks to hear this crap!" However, I did not express any of this to her because I did not pay to argue with her. I decided to just open my mind and hear what she had to say. I started to feel depressed. I felt like I was being lectured by my mother or some authoratative figure, LOL. Then I decided to just play along and see where this would go.

I went off topic and asked "How long have you been doing this?" She answered "Since I was nine years old. I'm not going to tell you how old I am but, I've been doing this for a very long time. I have been in this location alone for the past 25 years. I've been employed by this city's police force to track people on top of helping FBI and CIA. And I normally charge $350 a session". Interesting I thought. "I don't mean to sound so hard, I'm just bluntly honest and that is what the cards are telling me" she explained.

I sat there trying to think of what to ask next. She said "Talk to me; I see you want to tell me something". I was searching for something and finally came out and stated "I am an athiest. I have never seen anything to lead me to believe there is such thing as God or invisible forces of any kind to be in existence." "I'm just telling you that it is what it is" she answered, "It is saying that you are not where you should be and most likely you will always be in this situation you are in now. You're an athiest, you don't believe so you are too busy doing things that you have to do instead of doing the things that you want to do. You 'ought to be a writer". I paused for a moment then asked "Write what?" She looked me dead in the eye without blinking and said "Scripts. Movie scripts".

I did my best to compose myself in front of her. However, inside I was going "MOMMY! What the f@#!". At this point I was really speechless. I had a tingling sensation going down my spine and suddenly felt the urge to get up and run out of there... But I didn't. I had to ask one more question:. "So if I'm being distracted and its unlikely I will overcome this barrier you speak of"- "I can see your aura" she interuppted, "You have an opening in it so you can't retain anything for too long. You get an idea for a moment then it goes away". "F@#!" I thought, 'how many times in life have I been told this? Stay focused here, ninja!'

"So what do I have to do to be rid of this barrier?" I continued. "We need to see what you were doing in your past life through (For the life of me, I cannot remember what she called it)... Oh yes, you have lived on this Earth many times over, did you know that?" Wow! Now this is what I payed to hear, LOL! "And how do you do that" I asked. "Through crystals" she pointed out to me. I felt this was her selling point and she must have got many people to upgrade at this point. Then her cat jumps on the table in front of us. He had the most wicked stare down I have ever seen from a cat w/o showing his fangs off. The cat stared at my deck of cards that had been layed out. "He sees you're last card here about this barrier. He knows" she said.

I won't bore you with the rest of this so shortly after, I shook her hand and excused myself out. I took a business card (I want to google this lady sometime).

And that was definetely the highlight of my Halloween this past Sunday. The thing that keeps me lingering on this is when she said stated that I 'ought to be writing movie scripts. A lucky guess, perhaps? BTW, prior to all of that, I only told her my first name. I purposely chose to pay with cash as oppose to paying with a card because I'm not sure how much information is revealed about me. Since then, I've been looking on Wikipedia on "clairvoyants" and anything related to it. Through my one night of research I came across "The school of Theology" in Claremont. My plan is to use their library and look up records or reports on Clairvoyants and events related this matter. After watching Paranormal Activity 2, I'm also curious if they having anything on those types of phenomenons as well (hey, I was raised Catholic. Catholicism acknowledges evil entities and yet I've never experienced one. I only hear other people's stories on such things). So reply to me through either this blog, my email or send a message on facebook as opposed to writing it on my wall for all to see. As I stated before, I wish to keep this low key b/c I know many people get upset or scared over stuff like this. Your thoughts and comments are appreciated.